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Web Date 12-18-2005
I guess I have to explain myself for the "f'n holidays" comment 12-5-2005.
You see, we didn't have much when I grew up. We had plenty of resentment and distance. The holidays were the worst. Besides the weather being cold and dismal in the midwest, our water pipes were frozen solid and sometimes burst. We were told to leave the faucet dripping to keep the water moving but someone in the house would always forget.
Commercials screaming on the TV. The stores were packed full of shoppers. The icy roads lit up like Christmas lights with cars. The Christians were out in full force. Fancy brick homes belching out black smoke... saying yes, we have a fireplace and we can afford slow burning dry oak.
On a typical Christmas day, my step father loaded us up in our rusty Buick station wagon to visit my aunt and her family. We would have lunch and she would have a small gift for each of us. My half brother got something like a baseball, my two half sisters would get some clothing, and I usually got a set of coloring pens or some art supplies. She would pat me on my head and say, "Van, you're gonna be a fancy artist someday." I remembered their huge Christmas tree with mounts and mounts of gifts underneath. They only opened them after our visit.
Back to our house and my step father chained smoke, coughing and cursing in the living room. In the kitchen, my mother chatted on the phone with her Asian friends in Las Vegas and planning her escape. My half brother and sisters would be waiting by the windows for their rich friends to come by and pick them up. Then, cars honking, running feet, doors slammed and more loud cursing from my step father.
Well, my step father finally died of a heart attack about six years ago. My mother did left for Vegas when I was sophomore in high school. Through out high school, my half brother and two half sisters were rarely home. They stayed for days at a time with their friends.
Strange as it seem but that's the family I got. I never had or knew of anything else... except seeing what a family should be on TV. I do love each and everyone of them. The only sad thing is that I wish I knew that and appreciate it when I was there. Now, I miss them very much.
So, for this holidays, love the ones you're with. Be thankful for what you got. If you don't have much, someday you will look back and appreciate the experience.
Happy Holidays,
and with love,
Van
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