Web Date 03-31-2007

I got this email: Hey dude, came across your website and was interested (of all things) in your web journal. You have a really easy-to-read writing style. Was interested enough that I though that I'd drop you a quick email. I was just thinking that, although you sometimes bring up your interest in Asian culture, you don't really tend to bring up your Asian heritage so much. Just wondering how important that is to you, and whether you've ever felt the need to look into it at all. I don't wanna sound like I'm some culture-freak or anything, but I just mention it since it's recently become an important part of my life as a New Zealand-born Asian (some of us like to call ourselves "Kiwi Asian"). I was born and raised in Auckland, New Zealand, and never considered myself to be truly "Asian" until relatively recently. I understand you must get heaps of emails, but it'd be really cool if you could share your experiences with all of that. Cheers mate.

My reply: "Thanks for visiting my site! As for me, I was never accepted anywhere. My mother married an American when I was 1 year old. That was a no no in Asian culture back then. When it was time to go to school, I got teased so much they had to put me in boarding school along with the half Caucasian half Asian kids. Then when we arrived in America, we ended up in Smallville USA with the population of 3000... I was the only Asian kid.

The funny thing is that skin color or race identity is not important to me at all. I see people as energy more than anything. I feel race/culture identity is a tricky thing because if there's an inclusion there's also an exclusion. For example, I stood in line next to this elderly lady at the post office to mail out my porn to you all. Just two sentences in, she said "Oh, I just love Asian food." Translation: "I like you, you seemed nice but you are not one of us." Instead of feeling, you are nice and you reminded me of my grandson.

I think I'm not a good candidate to speak about culture identity and culture pride since I live my life as an outsider... on the fringe of society as they may say. Being an artist (yes, I can call myself that now since I'm published :), I'm pretty much an loner and an observer. As everything in life, there is beauty and ugliness in every cultures. I was very fortunate to have experienced both Asian and Western cultures. The beauty of the both cultures and nostalgic memories of my childhood will always be a part of me and who I am.

I hope that answer your question. xoxo Van

Web Date 03-19-2007

Hello, I'm back!!! Maui was a lot of fun. Unfortunately I wiped out on my surfboard and landed on large rocks. I got this nasty bruise on my entire left leg. Later, I went on a catamaran to Molokini crater and this one lady gasped when she saw my leg... "What happen to you?"

I was looking for a large bamboo forest on Maui for future photo shoot. I couldn't get to it because it was so damn remote... Maybe next trip. Anybody know of any bamboo forest in the US? I'm looking for the large bamboo types, timber bamboo.

Before I left for Maui, I did a shoot with Chad Hunt for my next video. I have to tell ya... he's one hella nice guy... none of that typical ego and attitude trip. All I can say about the entire experience is like sucking on a baseball bat. Yes, I'm working on my next video. I'm beginning to run out of ideas for my titles so I don't know what to call this video. If you have any ideas, please write me. Bondage Gallore? LOL!

Yesterday, I saw 300 the movie and I was astounded. I haven't seen anything like it before. Every frame in that movie is art to me. The fight sequences were mostly one continuous shot unlike movies like Gladiator where it 's so heavily edited I get dizzy. If I win the lotto, I would make a porno version of it :)

It's getting late, I'm off to bed. xoxo Van