Naked Yoga for Men

Day 17 of my 6 months sabbatical:

After about 2 weeks of Bikram Hot Yoga, I’m getting used to the heat. I’ve been doing 3 sessions per week and I lost a couple of pounds. Feeling good about myself, I decided to tryout Naked Yoga for Men ( The instructor’s name is Ken and he’s really cute. Right away someone recognized me so I was feeling a bit exposed. It’s hard to believe but I’m a bit shy. I’m thinking this naked yoga thing is good for getting over my shyness.  My BFF Duncan said it best… “Van, ya borderline shy/wild.” It’s true. I’m mostly shy in real life and wild when I’m “on stage”.

Okay, back to yoga. The space was really nice and clean. 16 guys showed up and they were all different shapes, ages and colors. One guy stood out. He’s in his 20s with dark hair. He got this San Fran hip haircut that’s really short on the sides. He was in the very front row and I was in back of the class. Everyone took their clothes off nonchalantly while carrying on conversations. Most of them knew each other. We began our stretching and breathing. I had to glance at my 20 something year old stud during the bend over positions and I enjoyed seeing his low dangling balls tremendously. He’s the type that doesn’t know he’s hot and I liked that. The stud has this lean body, slim waist, thick thighs, firm protruding ass and a nice bushy cock. PerF’nFection!!!

I was too busy discreetly looking at him and forgot about my shyness. I learned that as I moved around a lot, my dick shrunk into nothingness. Oh well… and I was comforted by the fact that the same thing happened to half the class… not that I was spending my time looking at everyone’s dick… just one particular dick, mind you.  The funny thing is that after about 10-15 minutes or so, I’m pretty much got my fill of the 20 something stud and was able to focus on the yoga. The nakedness around me had morphed into something else.  The newness of seeing and appreciating naked beings as they are. It’s a beautiful thing.  The entire session is nice but I feel I get more of a workout with Bikram Hot Yoga. Also, I have to get used to the om chanting with out giggling. I decided to do 2 Bikram, 1 naked yoga and 1 light weight workout per week. Stay tuned…

x Van



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The Ignorance of youth

Day 11 of my 6 months sabbatical:

Time to look back. It’s good to know where I’ve been in order for me  to move forward. 1990 – San Francisco, I hung out with a bunch of cool kids. They were artists/Act Up activists/punks. My friend Danny Nicotetta gave me these two photos. I got all choked up looking at them.

The Polaroid:  Staring at the expression on my face in the polaroid, I see a bit of sadness and discontent. It was the best time of my life and I was too ignorant to enjoy it. Youth is really wasted on the young. LOL. Later, I was able tell Spencer Reed to enjoy life. I told him when I did all my bondage shows on stage, I was too focused on the moment. Is the music right? Which one of my guys didn’t show up? The one guy is only doing the show half assed…etc. I told Spencer to take a step back and enjoy the moment because it goes really fast. He told me that stuck with him and that makes me happy.

The B&W photo: Gay Parade SF 1991 (The PC term is SFLGBT Pride Parade). The one and only Miss Jerome Caja was on my shoulder. I carried her for blocks cause she’s about 70lbs on a good day. Gosh, I missed her. I believed I was the only one who wore long latex gloves in the entire city or country or world back in the 90s. I’m a f’n trend setter goddamit!

Riding my beat up 450 Honda Motorcycle. Hanging out at Cafe Flore.  Gogo dancing Crystal Pistol and the Box. Got 3rd place in the Miss Uranus Pageant at the End Up. Living by myself in my 2 beds/2 baths flat at Alamo Square for $550/month. Dancing all night at the Pleasure Dome in Soma. Cruising the Buena Vista Park at 3AM. Eating at Church Street Station or Orphan Andy’s.  Cruising at Land’s End during the day and watching the ships go out to sea…

x Van

L to R: Gregg Debra Taylor, O.S., Dean Oulette, Jack, Lewis Walden, front: Dan Nicoletta, Curtis, Van Darkholme, photo by Polly Poloroid at Church Street Station restaurant late night after nightclub closing on 02/19/1990


Jerome Caja, Van Darkholme, SFLGBT Pride Parade, June 30, 1991, photo by Daniel Nicoletta


Google Images: gay bondage

Day 8 of my 6 months sabbatical:

It has already been a week away from work and yet I still can’t turn it off.  I had two work related dreams. Both, I was doing an entire shoot in my dream. It was so real with all the exhausting drama of productions. I won’t tell you because you won’t ever watch porn the same again. I woke up completely exhausted.

Wondering why I’m exhausted? Please Google Images gay bondage, 90% of the images are from my shoots! No f’n kidding. People post these images to their blogs, websites, social media, etc. It blew me away when I first found this out. I’m really proud of this.

x Van

On the Bound Gods set. I sit on that stool in the foreground and look into the monitor while directing.


Bikram Hot Yoga is not for pussies!

Day 5 of my 6 months sabbatical:

I got my Manduka Mat Yoga Mat and signed up for the Bikram Hot Yoga. This place rented out mats. It’s a great idea for people who are not sure if they want to stick with yoga. Who knew.

The place was  nice… mostly women and a few men.  Once entered the space, I felt this wave of heat over me. OMG, I panicked a little because it was so damn hot and I had trouble breathing right away. I calmed down and tried not to make a fool of myself. My yoga instructor was a cute shirtless guy in blue spandex shorts. With a  British accent, he asked who’s new to yoga here. I raised my hand along with a few women. He smiled at me. He said the session is 90 minutes and the goal for the newbies is just to stay in room the entire time. After a couple of poses, I sweated like a pig and got really light-headed. I drank only a cup of coffee that day and later found out I had to drink at least 60oz of water before class. BTW, you need a big towel to put on your yoga mat. They had to stop the class and gave me one. I was such a mess. After 60 minutes I thought I lost my mind so I just sat there and breathed.

The yoga instructor said I did well and glad that I stuck through the entire class. I never felt anything like this before… exhausted and exhilarated to the max. My body felt warm all night and  I was sore all over. Stay tuned…

Update 3-17-2015: As with all new yoga mats, they need to be broken in at first because they come new, stiff and some have this slippery coating from manufacturing. The company suggest rubbing dampen sea salt on it and let it dries in the sun etc. I decided to lay my mat in my hallway and just walked on it barefoot throughout the  day.  That worked!

x Van



Manduka Pro Yoga Mat

Day 3 of my 6 months sabbatical:

I’ve decided to take up yoga in my free time. Lifting weights all these years, I feel I need to change my body as I’m getting older. I want that slim look with lots of flexibility. Yoga is the perfect choice.

I got a groupon for 20 sessions of Bikram yoga for $25. What a great deal so I decided to go for it. Bikram yoga is 26 postures sequence selected and developed by Bikram Choudhury from Hatha Yoga. So, you do 26 poses in 105F degrees and about 40% humidity. Not sure about the heat but I’ll give it try. First I need to buy a yoga mat and accessories. I ended up spending about 4 hours looking at mats. Well the best ones are the Manduka and Jade mats. Since all the reviewers say the Manduka is the Rolls Royce of yoga mats, I just had to get it. I got the Manduka Black Mat PRO Yoga Mat and Manduka Go Steady 2.0 Yoga Bag on Amazon. The Pro Yoga mat is amazing and I loved it but it’s a bit heavy to cart around town. I suggest you get the Manduka PROlite Travel Yoga Mat. It’s lighter and easy to roll up. I’m so excited about doing new things! Stay tuned…

x Van


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