4 month, 30 days of my 6 months sabbatical:

I have this story in my head for about 2 decades now.  Hoping to finally put it into words during my sabbatical, I just didn’t “feel” it  all these months until now. The working title is The Miserable Masseur by Van Darkholme. I feel I’m at an age where I can understand it and able to articulate it. So, I am now consumed with this project… meaning, I live, eat and sleep it. Personal hygiene and the gym are all out of the window for the next month or so. I also listen to a lot of cello music for inspiration – Yo-yo Ma, 2Cellos etc.  and I also found Keaton Henson.  Enjoy!

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Istanbul 2015

4 month, 26 days of my 6 months sabbatical:

After spending a month in Europe, I got home and I was in a funk for a month. I was sad that my time overseas went by so quickly. I kept busy by working on my house and linking all my light switches to the wifi via Amazon Echo.

I was extremely fortunate to make it to Istanbul in June 2015. Trying not to sound like I’m bragging,  but I did the upper class on Virgin Atlantic to London.  I took the business class on Turkish Air to Istanbul. I guess I’m overcompensating for my white trash upbringing.  Speaking of white trash upbringing, I thought Istanbul was going to be like something out of Raiders of the Lost Ark movies. Mud buildings. Dusty. Wooden Wheels. Boy, was I wrong. It’s a modern city with an excellent train system. I think the best upper class lounge in the world is in Istanbul. Unfreaking-believable. Two giant levels of food and more food. The city is simply magical. I was truly in another world. People are friendly and I felt safer there than in some neighborhoods in San Francisco. The men are simply gorgeous. I went to a couple of hamans (Turkish baths) and I wish I could go there everyday. Beautiful traditional domes. Marbles everywhere… Like you traveled back in time 500 years. I got scrubbed down by this hot Turkish stud. I thought my skin was going to fall off and my nipples were sore for a couple of days.  Oh, there were a lot of actions going on there.  They love foreigners if you know what I mean. I spent a week there and loved every minute of it.



Lands End, Peter Berlin and the Lost Art of Cock Sucking

2 month, 15 days of my 6 months sabbatical:

I’m getting ready to leave for Europe. London:5/22-5/24 ~ Istanbul:5/25-5/31 ~ Barcelona: 5/31-6/3 ~ Madrid:6/3-6/6 ~ Paris:6/6-6/12. I’m traveling on my own and I’m terrible with directions, so wish me luck:) PS: I would love tour guide in Europe!

You may wonder what I’ve been doing in my spare time. Well, I bought an electric bike and a bike trailer for my boys (2 Westies). I am also doing a lot of home repairs and going to Home Depot pretty much everyday.

As for fun, well.. I’ve been receiving some terrible blowjobs. 20 years ago as a young horny stud, I could always count on a middle age dude to give me mind blowing head. Prove me wrong but this generation of middle age dudes today can’t give decent head if their lives depend on it. How can I describe it… It’s robotic. The same movement over and over again. There’s no imagination. No passion to it. They are all impatient and eager to reach to cumming part. They want that cum so badly that they forgot the joy of cock sucking. To quote Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Life is a Journey, Not a Destination.”

That reminds me of the good old days of cruising at Lands End near the Golden Gate Bridge. I used to spend an entire weekend there. Sadly, Lands End has fallen into the sea when I visited a few years ago. Yes, before the internet there’s cruising. This place had tons of trails, trees and bushes. I would make sure the area was free of poison ivy, flattened down the vegetation 4ftX 6ft near a trail, tossed down a blanket and made it my little “condo” for the day. I rolled around naked in the sun and sheltered from the strong sea breezes. I ran into Peter Berlin a lot there. I believe he was a few decades my senior. He ran around the trails covered in baby oil –  in his mesh underwear/bikini with a cockring which created a constant semi hardon. By evolution and and chance, we unintentionally developed a symbiotic relationship. Peter is German with blond hair and I’m the opposite of that. We would hang out about 15ft apart. If someone was into Peter, I would wait for things to heat up and then slowly moved in. And if someone into talk dark types like myself, Peter would pounce when  the stud and I were both hard and lost in a hot steamy session.

Speaking of hot steamy sessions, I’ve been recognized a lot lately while having fun. I’m not going to tell you where but I think you have some ideas. Here’s an example from last week. I got a dude blowing me and two other dudes sucking on my nipples. While stroking a hard cock in each hand and nearly close to ecstasy, I heard someone shouted out loud, “YOU’RE VAN AREN’T YA? I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS. I’M A HUGE FAN!!!….. (wait for it… wait for it)… WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!!!!” That killed my boner. There’s noting like being pointed out in a group where everyone supposed to be anonymous. Here’s a rule of thumb people. Please don’t speak to me when I have my cock out :)



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Kink 2013 Documentary – Netflix

1 month, 20 days of my 6 months sabbatical:

Gosh, time is moving so fast. I’ve been binge watching all these series on Netflix and Amazon Prime: Turn, Daredevil, The Paradise, Mr. Selfridge, Downton Abbey, Sherlock, Upstairs Downstairs. I can go through an entire season in one day… so sad. I saw Charlie Cox in Downton Abbey and The Theory of Everything. He is so sexy to me. And when I found out  that he’s in Daredevil, I’m hooked!

Speaking of Netflix, the Kink 2013 Documentary is now streaming on Netflix. James Franco produced it and Christina Voros directed. I was in the documentary a lot and had a chance to attend the Sundance Film Festival 2013. (See photo below – James Franco is in the middle and I’m in the end) Sundance was amazing and I get to rub elbows with the stars.  Check it out and please give me your feedback :)

x Van




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