George Michael, Adele, Lost Friends & Maui

I just saw Adele on the Grammys singing Fastlove as a tribute to George Michael. It hit me to my core because the song is so perfect for him. The moment was art on top of art. I played his album “Older” all the time and Fastlove is one of my favorite songs. I can relate to the lyrics and I think so can a lot of gay men.

“Looking for some affirmation
Made my way into the sun
My friends got their ladies
And they’re all having babies
But I just wanna have some fun…”

Maui, Summer of 2002

Flash to: Maui –  summer of 2002, I was in the back seat of a Vanagon next to my best friend Duncan.  My boyfriend Jason was driving and my other best friend James was in the passenger seat. George Michael’s “Older” cd was playing as the hot Maui winds beat on our sunburnt faces. The old Vanagon flew through the Hawaiian desert while the Kiawe trees danced in the sun. The most important people in the whole wide world to me were all in this van, singing Fastlove.

I touched Duncan’s face and he smiled at me with is perfectly white Australian teeth, giving me the “I’m cute” face. Jason gave me a wink through the rear view mirror and I could see the back of James head bopping to the music. He had his right  foot and right arm out the window. I took a moment and told myself to never forget this space in time.  I thanked the universe for such fortune and such love.

Sadly, Duncan passed away in 2005 and James was gone last week. I never had a chance to say thank you and goodbye.  If only we could have a few more minutes…

I had meaningful love and I had fast love. I’m fortunate enough to travel the world and get to do what I love for a living.  From flying first class to Europe and staying at the best hotels to  hitchhiking and eating Spam in the forest, I’m a lucky sob. Yours truly has just enough fame to be left alone at the Cracker Barrel, and to be recognized with his dick out at a sex club. If I kick the bucket today, I had a full and wonderful life already and my time here at the Compound (my new home in the Carolinas) is just a bonus. Just icing on the cake…

Van Darkholme photograph by Clifford Baker
I was photographed by Clifford Baker!


George Michael by my very good friend Dave Woodman. He’s the best. Check out his store on Etsy.

6 thoughts on “George Michael, Adele, Lost Friends & Maui”

  1. OMG! You have a blog! I’m a big fan. I think you’re totally hot, and I love the videos you do. I was very sorry to see you leave Kink, but I guess you can only do that for so long before you get burnout.

    I just read your Sword interview. Just ignore the haters. You’ve always brought a great deal of humanity and good spirit to being a dom top, and for that I respect you.

    Greenville, eh? That’s got to be a big change from San Fran.

    I wish you the best.

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