The Ignorance of youth

Day 11 of my 6 months sabbatical:

Time to look back. It’s good to know where I’ve been in order for me to move forward. 1990 – San Francisco, I hung out with a bunch of cool kids. They were artists/Act Up activists/punks. My friend Danny Nicotetta gave me these two photos. I got all choked up looking at them. The Polaroid:  Staring at the expression on my face in the polaroid, I see a bit of sadness and discontent. It was the best time of my life and I was too ignorant to enjoy it. Youth is really wasted on the young.

Take a step back and enjoy the moment

Later, I was able to tell Spencer Reed to enjoy life. I told him when I did all my bondage shows on stage, I was too focused on the moment. Is the music right? Which one of my guys didn’t show up? The one guy is only doing the show half-assed…etc. I told Spencer to take a step back and enjoy the moment because it goes really fast. He told me that stuck with him and that makes me happy.

The B&W photo: Gay Parade SF 1991 (The PC term is SFLGBT Pride Parade). The one and only Miss Jerome Caja was on my shoulder. I carried her for blocks cause she’s about 70lbs on a good day. Gosh, I missed her. I believed I was the only one who wore long latex gloves in the entire city or country or world back in the 90s. I’m a f’n trend setter goddamit!

Youth - Van Darkholme during Pride Parade in San Francisco in 1991

Riding my beat up 450 Honda Motorcycle. Hanging out at Cafe Flore.  Gogo dancing Crystal Pistol and the Box. Got 3rd place in the Miss Uranus Pageant at the End Up. Living by myself in my 2 beds/2 baths flat at Alamo Square for $550/month. Dancing all night at the Pleasure Dome in Soma. Cruising the Buena Vista Park at 3AM. Eating at Church Street Station or Orphan Andy’s.  Cruising at Land’s End during the day and watching the ships go out to sea…

x Van



3 thoughts on “The Ignorance of youth”

  1. Keep up the writing… the images of yesteryear, yesterday will continue to float and merge… seeing how we re-created the world… and how it is being re-created again… and again… the endless turning of turning of the wheel… Lots of love…

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